Ladies..Help me....Please?

I have been masturbating for as long as I can remember...I often did it when I was feeling stressed,mad or sad about something going on in my life. I have been so use to doing it a certain way. When I started actually having I found it extremely hard to actually have an . Its such a weird way of masturbating I have no desire to be doing it in front of my boyfriend while we're having ... any advice? I have a vibrator that I use often when we're having but it takes a VERY long time for me to actually go... I feel bad cause my bf thinks he is doing something wrong when its actually me that has the problem lol